The week after losing our little one I suddenly noticed how many beautiful baby bumps there are at church right now. Once again I noticed it with a smile (and a little tear inside). From the Children's Ministry Director side, and child lover side I am just plain overjoyed that our newly remodeled church nursery will be getting it's very own "baby boom". The single silent tear, trails it's way down my face when I quietly mourn the fact that I, and my child are no longer among them. On the "me" side of all this I was really looking forward to being part of that exclusive "mommy" club.
Hooray for new life! Hooray for friends and their joy! I most certainly wouldn't want the world to stop their celebrating because of my little quiet tears. In fact I think I appreciate the celebrating all the more, because I truly can identify with it in a brand new way. Tears of sadness, tears of joy. I wonder if I will have the same odd mixture of feelings when someday our second little one starts growing. Joy for the new life. Sadness for the life