As I was picking up clutter last night, I wondered if perhaps I shouldn't have agreed to finishing the interviews this week with all that had happened. We set up the appointment rather on a whim when we ran into our licensor at the grocery store. I didn't really feel like explaining the week's events over the apples and oranges of the produce aisle. In the end I am glad we did. Otherwise it might have taken a couple more weeks to initiate it myself. This is part of moving on and forward with life. Foster care has been our Plan "A" after all. The pregnancy was a happy surprise. Even though we hadn't yet figured out how baby Silverthorn would fit in with our licensing process, we were still pretty sure about still moving forward with it.
On a different moving forward note... today I noticed that my clothes are fitting better. Just a couple weeks ago I was complaing to David, frustrated with myself, that my clothes weren't fitting right. It is little things like that in retrospect I realize should have maybe tipped me off. This is most certainly the only time I have ever had mixed feelings about losing weight!
On one hand I am glad to be slimming down a little, and I am more motivated than ever to try and get back into shape. On the other hand, I realize that the weight loss and clothes fitting better is not because of healthy lifestyle changes. Rather I have lost weight because my body is no longer creating a safe little home and tiny baby. I have lost about 5 pounds. Who knew I had 5 pounds of baby home already grown in me!? No wonder I can feel the absence.